Impressions Though Dialogue by George Thompson
So far, I’ve allowed only one person to read my in-process manuscript, A Summer’s Evening. And, it’s not a relative. He’s read fifty pages of my novel. One of my main questions for him was, “What do Riley and Wiley look like?”
These two men are the perpetrators of the abduction and subsequent murder of an old woman. My friend, the reader, gleaned his information only from the dialogue between the two men because I did not come right out and describe how they looked. Their “lingo” is displayed in their conversation. He said, “I see them as just short of six feet tall, both rather thin and around thirty. Perhaps their hair is sort of blondish. I know one smokes because you wrote the other says, ‘You oughta quit smokin’ them things.’ I think they wear jeans mostly.”
I’m hoping he will read the rest of the chapters I sent him and will be able to give me his mind’s impression of the other characters I’ve used: Doris, the receptionist at the police station, the two deputies, the sheriff himself, the priest, the old woman who is a member of a coven and so many others. None of these characters are described in the narrative. The reader learns about them through dialogue alone.
He has said that I’m very precise in what I’ve written and now that I look back on the 45,000 words I done so far, I must agree. It’s almost like a screenwriter’s dream come true. With a little blocking—very little blocking—a screenwriter could adapt this for a movie production. Again, I think that goes to using so much dialogue to tell the story.
I have used an erasable board to keep the characters in mind while writing the novel. I also used a technique in each chapter of separating what was going on simultaneously with characters without using transitions like, “Meanwhile, across town….” So, if the sheriff was doing something at 8 a.m., I could also have Riley and Wiley doing something at the same time in the same chapter on the same day. I even decided the reader needed to hear both sides of a telephone conversation so it would not have to be repeated somewhere else in the story unless absolutely necessary.
There’s a part of the story where the sheriff must have tests—this takes place in the 80s—to see if he has lung cancer and through dialogue, I want the reader to feel the pain the sheriff has as he goes through a battery of tests and scans. I even want them to commiserate with him because he must take Tylenol-3 for migraines and Niacin for high cholesterol.
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One thing I’ve found very easy to slip into while using dialogue: the present progressive tense. That’s a no-no. I don’t know how many places I’ve had to edit to get rid of that tense and put it in past tense where it should be. That’s one of the dangers of using so much dialogue to tell a story.
I’ll say one thing positive: I’m halfway finished. And, I’ve already started putting out feelers for publishers.
Until the next column. Good luck with your writing.
Poet George Thompson is a critic for the pop culture site www.PopSyndicate.com and a regular contributor to Wicked Wordsmith.
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